Bipolar Heart
by Is Sales
Summary: Lily Evans is really confused about her feelings. Last year, and James Potter is the headboy with her. Maybe he've changed. Or maybe not.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of this characters. Or Sirius would be alive.

I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language and I do the best I can.

Please review if you like it (:

" Hi, lovely journal. I know I haven't been here lately, and I know this is an awful thing, so I'm sorry. I mean, I haven't written here in one week! It's one week that I won't remember if I lose my memory some day. So, sorry, future-Lily Evans, if you ever lose your memory, you'll never know what happened in this week.

But anyway, 7th year has finally started! It's the last year, and I'm the headgirl.

Good side of being the headgirl: I'm the freaking headgirl! It's a big deal and I always dreamed of being it.

Bad side of being the headgirl: James Potter is the headboy. (Note to self: check if Dumbledore is using drugs.) I mean, Potter? I think that the only person that got more detentions than him was Black. _Him?_ Headboy? The only phrase that makes sense with the words "James Potter" and "headboy" is when it has a "is not" in the middle. Is just not right!

And of course, this has not been good for me. Before, Remus was with me, but he isn't the headboy, and I really don't understand why. Maybe Dumbledore wants to make me suffer. Yes, that makes sense. And actually, journal, I miss having a best friend. I know I can write here whatever I want to, but it's not like you will answer or anything like that. I don't have a best friend since the end of the 5th year. I miss Snape. I know he called me a mudblood (and was the mean reason I started writing for real on you), but I miss having someone to talk to. Don't get me wrong. I have Remus, and those girls I share the room are amazing too, but they're my friends, not best friends.

But that's ok. I'm used to be alone. I have to focus on my study, and on writing here. I've never missed a day in 2 years, and now I missed one week. I blame Potter. But I'd really like to know what is happening to me."

Lily wished that she could use an alarm on Hogwarts, but nothing worked there. But she would always wake up in the right time. She sat on her bed quietly, and looked to her roommates, all still asleep. There were three. Samantha, a shy cute girl, blonde, with a sweet smile, who loved to draw. Actually, her wall was full of the draws she has done. She was born a muggle, and her parents were really proud of her being a witch. Marlene, a brunette that was known like "the hot chick from Gryffindor" for almost all the boys in Hogwarts. And for last, Kyle, a metamorphmagi, who always use her hair in weird colors, and always had a smile in her face. Her and Marlene would take Samantha everywhere, trying to make her to kiss some boy. After Lily said she made out with a guy from Ravenclaw, they let her in peace. Lily didn't believe she was beautiful. Actually, her self-esteem was really low. With her red hair, awkward freckles, she always felt ugly near to her friends. The only thing she like about her appearance, was her eyes. A deep, gorgeous green. "It's like a meadow" always said her grandpa. "You feel safe when you look into her eyes."

She took a short shower, and when she was brushing her tooth, Samantha walked into the bathroom.

"Hi Lily." Said her. "Can you excuse me? I really need to take a bath."

"Sure" said her, smiling weakly. She got off the bathroom. She knew Marlene was already ready, and Kyle was making her makeup. It was always like that. She'd take her shower, and when she was brushing her teeth, Samantha would take hers. Marlene and Kyle would take in the night.

"Hey Lily…" said Marlene, sleepy.

"I'm already leaving ok? I have to return a book to the library before the first class." There was no book. She just wasn't feeling really sociable today. It's was Monday, and Monday means a meeting with the headboy.

"Sure. Do you got any free period today?" asked Kyle.

"I do, but I have a meeting with Potter." Marlene smiled.

"Who, Potter. I thought you would be calling him James."

"It's too hard. And I don't like him, stop smiling like this."

"It's ok, Lene." Said Kyle "She's on the first stage: Denial."

"Very funny. I'm leaving. Bye, guys. See you at Potions."

Lily went to the Great Hall, and sat by herself. By the same minute, she heard some people sitting by her side.

"Hi, Lily!" said a cheerful voice.

"Oh, God." She mumbled to herself. "Hello, Potter." She gave up calling him James. It just sounded wrong. She was already making a big effort talking to him politely. James was a stunning boy, even though she didn't admit it. He had a messy dark brown hair, and big eyes, which were always hidden by the glasses. His smile was lovely, with a little gap between his teeth. She looked around, and all the marauders were there.

"Hello, fire girl" said Sirius.

"Well, hello Sirius" said her, with a little smile coming up on her face, when he kissed her hand. Sirius had a long black hair, and grey eyes, which wasn't cold like the eyes of his brother. Since James hasn't kissed a lot of the girls, except when he was drunk, since he liked Lily, Sirius became the most wished boy from Hogwarts. Even by the ones on Slytherin. "Hi, Peter!" Peter was the shorter one. The girls usually didn't like him, but he did kissed some of them, and even had a girlfriend one time. He answered her, but he was as shy as Samantha.

"Hi Lily." Said Remus, the last marauder. The closest person of a best friend that Lily has right now. He was a werewolf. Lily found out in the 5th year, when he was always violent in the full-moon week, and really tired in the next. Lily's a smart girl and didn't take too long to found out. But she never told Remus. It's a secret, and she didn't want him to be afraid of her telling people. She knew how to keep a secret. Remus was a blonde guy; his face was beautiful, but now covered in scars. His eyes were normally sad and tired, always hiding the curse that he was destined to have for the rest of his life from everyone.

"You know, fire girl." Said Sirius, taking Lily away from her thoughts. "Prongs here had a really hard time trying to make his hair look nice."

"I'm sorry to say it didn't really worked, Potter." Said Lily, and James played with his hair and smiled shameless.

"Ok, so I know you guys are like, really busy, but I have something more important to say. Girls."

"So…" said Lily, getting up. "I'm leaving."

"Why?" asked James.

"Well, since I'm not a lesbian, girls aren't actually the thing that interests me the most. And I'm late." Said her, and left after that.

"God, I love her so much." Whined James, pulling his hair.

"Stop acting like a girl, Prongs. So you guys think I have a chance with Kyle?"

"Who even _is _Kyle?" asked Peter.

"That cute girl friend's with Lily. She always has a colorful hair." Replied Remus.

"Oh no." said James, eating a piece of bread. "She hates you."

"What you mean by she hates me?"

"I mean that she hates you, dumbass. I heard talking to that blonde one, Samantha I think, that she thinks you're a douchebag that only breaks girl's heart."

"Well, I can fix that."

"And that you're just a stupid boy who treats girls like toys."

"So I guessed I'll have to spend the last year of school being friends with benefits with Marlene."


End file.
